The Defense Mechanism

at the back of my mind, i don't really think this will go anywhere further.

i have an instinct that the feeling, even if it's mutual, won't develop deeper, or as deep as i want it to.

i can see another heartbreak coming my way.

but i won't give up on any any chance to make it work.
even if what i perceive is only a glimmer of hope.

i'll pursue it. until i know for real, that it's not going to happen.

for at least i could sleep better at night, knowing that i've tried my hardest.
that i'm not a mere quitter.

i really do hope this will work out.

i like you very much.
lets get to know each other better.
and learn about each other.

even if it does not go our way,
at least we have a fond memory.
of you and i,
of us :)

until i see you again,
take care babe.

You..

when can i hug you, kiss you.

to feel the warmth of your body.

i just want to be with you.

and let the time stand still.

just you in my arms, and me in yours.


we shall meet again.

:)

how weird is this;

i had a short weekend,
but it was full fulling,
and the moon is gorgeous tonight.
just gorgeous. beyond word.



it's like a sign.

but am i reading it too deep?

i want to do it different this time. i hope i do it different this time.

rightly different.

for the better.

pray for me.

and tomorrow is a new day.

Interesting Night

had an interesting date last night.

Ok, i prefer not to call it a date. more of a 'meeting'.

nothing romantic about it. just a casual outing.

and i had fun!

apart from the fact that i had to wait nearly 45 mins before we met, of which i spent reading a book from the writer of Marley & Me (interesting book, but too much on the Catholicism for my liking, or i have bought it).

we went to dinner, then to a movie (star trek is a good movie) and ended the night hanging out at a joint in bangsar, having a couple of drinks and goofing around talking about ourselves.

i went home with a smile on my face.

thank you for an interesting night :)

Tak Sedar Diri

Aku kembali menghirup asap-asap putih yang mengandungi lebih 4,000 bahan kimia termasuk tar, nikotina dan karbon monoksida yang membahayakan kesihatan.

Seolah-olah aku tak pernah berkejaran ke hospital selama 3 hari berturut-turut untuk menyedut nebulizer, disuntik steroid hingga kebas lidah, dan telan kurang lebih 15 biji pil setiap hari selama seminggu.

Ya, manusia mudah lupa. Lagi-lagi melayu.
Ya, aku manusia berbangsa melayu. Aku tak pernah lupa itu.

Penat.

Otak, hati, jiwa, tubuh.

Just plain tired.

Seperti mahu terbang. Melayang-layang.
Tanpa arah, tiada tuju.
Biar hanyut.
Berlandas angin, berpaksi udara.


Tolong.

Tinggalkan aku dengan asap-asap putih ini.
Biar aku hela dalam-dalam, puas-puas.
Kemudian hembus kepul-kepul keluar.
Moga semua kusut ikut sekali.


Tolong.

Poker Face

Walaupon aku sangat hebat dalam menunjukkan ketiadaan emosi dan ekspressi muka, aku still tak boleh nyanyi lirik lagu ni dengan betul

can't read mine, can't read mine,
no he can't read my Foker Pace

sigh~

Kepura-puraan (?)

Baru balik dari melantak dengan ofismate and his fam.
He recommend to me this new makan place near his house.
So I went - but same old, same old. Tried the tomyam seafood with nasi putih. Takde kick. I've had better. Way better.

I'm very much particular about food. Tak kisah bayar lebih sikit, as long as the quality and quantity is there. Hingga menjilat jari. Bayar tutup mata pun tak kisah. Tapi time ade duit je la, kalau takde duit, makan megi sudeh!

There's this one particular kedai makan yang aku sangat suka. Situated in S13, Shah Alam (if I'm not mistaken - near the stadium2 tu).

Just a small kedai makan. Memang bukak untuk lunch je kot kedai ni. Specialty - ayam kampung. MELELEH!

Nothing pretentious about this shop at all. Rilek2 je deco, takde over2 meletup ke apa. Ada meja, kerusi, tempat lauk2, tempat buat air, and that's it. Takde lighting gedebang yg kasi TNB kaya. Takde barang hiasan from IKEA. Simplicity at its best.

But the lauks I tell you. Pergh. Tak pernah fail my taste bud!

Ayam kampung goreng tu memang wajib ambil la. Goreng garing to perfection. Rasa cukup2 je. Tak terlebih tak terkurang.

Then ade sambal tempoyak, and other sambals yang sangat lah mengujakan. Addicted.

Gulai, kari, sayur and what-not pon ada. And semua sedap.

Oke enough about this kedai makan. Aku dah lapar balik. Esok kalau rajin mau pergi lah.

Kenapa kalau kedai makan, especially yang baru bukak, mesti nak overly done. Especially the deco.

To attract customers lah kan. Ok fine.

Tapi itu kan kedai makan. Orang nak pergi untuk makan. And most of these kedais semua tak sedap mana pon. Deco je macam istana, tapi warong pak samat nye makanan lagi sedap.

Kenapa tak pentingkan makanan first. Make sure you can maintain the taste and the quality first. Attract customers using the taste, not the sight. Words do get around. Nothing to worry lah.

Eh penat lah membebel yang pointles ni.